We support caregivers by providing advice, immediate solutions and long term strategies for South Florida Seniors.

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Managing a parent's ambivalence about receiving help

My 85-year-old mom alternates between completely on-the-ball and totally confused by the details of daily life. I have gradually assumed responsibility for many things -- bills, doctors appointments, etc. -- that have proved difficult for her, and she is quite grateful. I am thrilled to be able to do this for her. However, in the moments when it dawns on her how much control she has ceded, she becomes angry and argumentative, feeling insulted and disrespected. On several occasions, I've given in to her demands to take back the reins on certain things -- only to have things go badly off track, creating more stress and anxiety for both of us. Which makes the whole process of caregiving emotionally exhausting -- even though the actual effort in "taking care of things" is not difficult to manage. Can you give some advice for navigating these issues of control that will help de-stress this situation? I'd really love to enjoy this time with my mom, but find we spend far too much time wrangling over these things. Lisa L., Miami, FL

@senioritymatter

I was so appreciative when I heard from you about helping me with my upcoming surgery needs and post-operative care. Your interest and speedy follow-up were very helpful. The services provided worked out extremely well.

Judy R, Miami, FL

Nancy is like a best friend, mentor and professional consultant who addresses the concerns of an elderly parent and tactfully cares for the needs of the family as well. I could not recommend her higher or feel better about having her in our lives at this complex and poignant time.

Jan S , Los Angeles, CA

Nancy turned a very chaotic and stressful situation into one where both my brother and I could relax, knowing that my mother was being properly cared for. Without her support, we would never have been able to organize the integrative care my mom so urgently needed. Thank you, Seniority Matters!

Ricky F, Berkeley, CA

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